Writing Dialogue

One of the most common issues in student writing that I encounter is the writing of dialogue. Most of you have never written stories before, and haven't read many stories, so when it comes to writing dialogue, most of you don't know where to begin. The following dialogue is taken from the film "A Few Good Men," to illustrate how some of you write your dialogue, and how it can be improved.(Yes, I have actually seen dialogue written like this. I've seen entire stories written like this):

You don't have to answer that question! I'll answer the question. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers? I want the truth! You can't handle the truth!

Here we don't know anything about this conversation; who is talking, and when? How many people are talking? Who are they talking to? How and with what intents are the words being spoken? In fact, we can't even be sure that this is a conversation.

RULE #1: Use quotation marks to indicate words which are spoken by characters.

"You don't have to answer that question!" "I'll answer the question. You want answers?" "I think I'm entitled to them." "You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the truth!"

Now we know that these words are spoken, but by whom? Before we can answer that, we have to make this look right by putting each line and speaker in its own paragraph.

RULE #2: Always start a new paragraph when changing speakers. You cannot have two people speaking in the same paragraph. 

          "You don't have to answer that question!"
          "I'll answer the question. You want answers?"
          "I think I'm entitled to them."
          "You want answers?"
          "I want the truth!"
          "You can't handle the truth!"

Now we can identify who is speaking. Also, remember that punctuation marks at the end of a quotation go inside the quotation marks. If the sentence within the quote ends with a period (.), change it to a comma (,). If it's a question (?) or an exclamation (!), leave it the way it is.

RULE #3: Identify the speaker.
RULE #4: Use correct punctuation, capitalization and spacing. (Click here for a detailed lesson)

          "You don't have to answer that question!" said the Judge.
          "I'll answer the question. You want answers?" said Jessop.
          "I think I'm entitled to them," said Kaffee.
          "You want answers?" said Jessop.
          "I want the truth!" said Kaffee.
          "You can't handle the truth!" said Jessop.

OK, this is grammatically correct, but what's the trouble with it? This brings us to the four guidelines for writing dialogue, to make it more interesting and effective:

GUIDELINE #1: Vary your verbs. There are hundreds and hundreds of verbs that indicate speaking, besides "said." Try to find one that accurately reflects how the person says it.

GUIDELINE #2: Use descriptives. Try to use adverbs or descriptive phrases to enhance the verbs themselves.

GUIDELINE #3: Vary your structures.
Don't always identify the speaker in the same place; you can do it at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end. And, if the quotation is long (more than one sentence or clause), don't identify at the end; do it at the beginning, or at the first punctuation stop.

GUIDELINE #4: Use narrative to show action.
Don't just show the reader what's being said; that's like watching a movie with your eyes closed. Show us what's happening as well.

Here's an example of the same dialogue using all four guidelines:


          The Judge turned swiftly toward the stand and declared to the witness, "You don't have to answer that question!"
          "I'll answer the question," Jessop asserted coldly, fixing his eyes on Kaffee. He asked the defense attorney, "You want answers?"
          "I think I'm entitled to them," Kaffee replied.
          Jessop asked again, more forcefully, as if scolding an errant recruit, "You want answers?"
          "I want the truth!" Kaffee shouted, banging his fist on the counsel table in defiance of Jessop's intimidating presence. The court members sat in stunned silence.
          The colonel leaned forward, rising to his feet, and thundered, "You can't handle the truth!" 

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